So much for the best laid plans huh?? I think the talking to I gave myself in the last post lasted form almost a week, then it was my Hubby's birthday weekend and everything fell apart again!!
So here I am typing on this blog again, no sense of purpose, no sense of direction and definitely no motivation. I feel like I need a bit of time to myself to get my head together, but life is so busy nowadays there never seems the time!!
I am not moaning (well I am, but not at my life, just at my mind). If I say to myself - give up Gayle, give up on this silly idea of being 'ultra-fit', you obviously don't want it enough and you are obviously never going to be good enough to do it, then my whole being screams back NO, I want this I just have to sort myself out and then I will be able to do it.
So when I say sort myself out - what am I thinking of? I need a goal list, not just a thought in my mind of 'just want to lose weight' I gotta do better than that, be more specific. I gotta sort my daily routine out so that I am fitting it in, getting it done etc....
Need to start taking some baby steps or I will never get there:
1, Eat clean & drink water today
2, Please try not to go near anything with sugar (lets start kicking that habit)
3, Make a calorie plan and weight goal spreadsheet
4, Be prepared & organised for tomorrow
5, Work out a plan for the morning so you know what time to get up etc...
6, Be here in the morning to keep yourself accountable!!
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Wednesday, 12 September 2012
11 days later
So here is my first report since I started this blog up again.... yes, I know I did say I would blog at least once a week... I honestly didn't realise it had been so long!
Thing is I don't really have anything good to report. I have been on and off the food, on and off the workouts, on and off drinking water. So no progress has been made really.
I am wondering what's missing? What is stopping me getting this sorted...?
Logistics: I have a treadmill, a spin bike, a dual cable stand, free weights, I have an Ipod Deck, I have workout music, I have a sports bra, I have gym kit, I have a fab kitchen, a delivery of healthy foods once a week, farm shops close by for topping up....so everything is there for me to do this.
Wanting: Some people will say I don't want it enough... oh I do want it enough, I've wanted it for years, it is a long term dream. I think it is unfair to say I don't want it enough. However I procrastinate on it.... I have no deadline, I have the rest of my life so I can do it tomorrow, if I am tired I will take a day off and do it tomorrow. I have no urgency around my goal.
Support: My husband works out, he eats ok. He wants this 'fit lifestyle' too. He supports me but doesn't say much to encourage or to force me. I know he doesn't want to tell me I'm fat and need to workout, I know he doesn't want to force me to do it, he wants me to want to do it, so he stays quiet and is there in the gym when I want him to be and looking at me disapprovingly when I eat the wrong food.
The people around me don't understand why I want this - why do you want to look like that? Just have another biscuit..etc etc, I used to take pride in these moments, these moments made me feel like I was different, somehow better because I didn't want to do what everyone else was doing...but now I have become like them. The boards used to encourage me, each morning I would log on and discuss my situation, my feelings, my food, my workout with like minded people... most of us transferred to facebook, the posts and discussions have become fleeting sentences rather than us all pouring our hearts out with the struggles and the highs of this lifestyle. Life has also take over for a lot of us and we are all finding it difficult to stay on track and keep each other accountable. So I think the people around me have 'rubbed' off on me because I haven't much encouragement towards my fitness goals, I aren't in discussions daily about it with like minded people who can hold me accountable. The only person to hold me accountable is me and I do tend to cheat on myself!!
Just Do It: This is the only thing I can rely on at the moment. If I do it and I get a momentum going, chances are I will continue and this continuation itself will motivate me to progress, I just have to take the first steps.
So today I am up early enough for brekkie and a workout, I do appear to have a little puppy (or big puppy as he is about 50lbs and only 6 months) who seems to want to keep me accountable as he has started wanting to get up at around 4am which is perfect timing for my brekkie & workouts!
I have inherited a Eat Clean companion and I am going to use it to track my food starting today. I am aslo going to blog daily... even if it is just for me to hold myself accountable, then I will hold myself accountable to this blog!!
Thing is I don't really have anything good to report. I have been on and off the food, on and off the workouts, on and off drinking water. So no progress has been made really.
I am wondering what's missing? What is stopping me getting this sorted...?
Logistics: I have a treadmill, a spin bike, a dual cable stand, free weights, I have an Ipod Deck, I have workout music, I have a sports bra, I have gym kit, I have a fab kitchen, a delivery of healthy foods once a week, farm shops close by for topping up....so everything is there for me to do this.
Wanting: Some people will say I don't want it enough... oh I do want it enough, I've wanted it for years, it is a long term dream. I think it is unfair to say I don't want it enough. However I procrastinate on it.... I have no deadline, I have the rest of my life so I can do it tomorrow, if I am tired I will take a day off and do it tomorrow. I have no urgency around my goal.
Support: My husband works out, he eats ok. He wants this 'fit lifestyle' too. He supports me but doesn't say much to encourage or to force me. I know he doesn't want to tell me I'm fat and need to workout, I know he doesn't want to force me to do it, he wants me to want to do it, so he stays quiet and is there in the gym when I want him to be and looking at me disapprovingly when I eat the wrong food.
The people around me don't understand why I want this - why do you want to look like that? Just have another biscuit..etc etc, I used to take pride in these moments, these moments made me feel like I was different, somehow better because I didn't want to do what everyone else was doing...but now I have become like them. The boards used to encourage me, each morning I would log on and discuss my situation, my feelings, my food, my workout with like minded people... most of us transferred to facebook, the posts and discussions have become fleeting sentences rather than us all pouring our hearts out with the struggles and the highs of this lifestyle. Life has also take over for a lot of us and we are all finding it difficult to stay on track and keep each other accountable. So I think the people around me have 'rubbed' off on me because I haven't much encouragement towards my fitness goals, I aren't in discussions daily about it with like minded people who can hold me accountable. The only person to hold me accountable is me and I do tend to cheat on myself!!
Just Do It: This is the only thing I can rely on at the moment. If I do it and I get a momentum going, chances are I will continue and this continuation itself will motivate me to progress, I just have to take the first steps.
So today I am up early enough for brekkie and a workout, I do appear to have a little puppy (or big puppy as he is about 50lbs and only 6 months) who seems to want to keep me accountable as he has started wanting to get up at around 4am which is perfect timing for my brekkie & workouts!
I have inherited a Eat Clean companion and I am going to use it to track my food starting today. I am aslo going to blog daily... even if it is just for me to hold myself accountable, then I will hold myself accountable to this blog!!
Saturday, 1 September 2012
Phoenix Rising
Ok, so the title of this post basically means that I am starting again...
GOALS:
My goal has always been to hit around 135lbs, and I reckon I can get damn close by Xmas, another goal of mine has always been to have some All Saints jeans... now the waist size for these is 30 inches...so this is going to be what will be on my Xmas List.
There are other goals... I want to eat clean, be fit, be healthy, live a long active life, disease free...there are lots of them, but for the time being I am only going to focus on those jeans!!!
PLAN:
Now I don't really believe in deprivation diets, I think they just lead to the day where you decide you have reached your goals and you start eating again and guess what - you are back where you started, I am proof of that.... Having lost nearly 25lbs I have put it all back on when I have started to eat the things I had banned for so long... luckily I have stopped before I have gone over what I weighed at the beginning, but I feel rubbish about myself and don't want to come back here again.
Foodwise then, I plan to eat clean... to fill myself up on lean protein, veggies, complex carbs, healthy fats and drink my water.I don't want to count calories... I no longer believe all calories are created equally!!
Training - will be daily weights & cardio, I will start at 30mins of each until I am in the routine of my early mornings again, then I will increase the time as I move closer to Christmas. Currently the cardio will need to be steady state as I have let my fitness levels drop so low that I need to build this up again!
MINDSET:
My head is getting there, but I realise I have to get my head in gear to get my body moving, but I do over analyse things and I have made the decision that I need to take action and my mind will join in as I am remembering how good I feel when I am working out & eating right. At the end of the day do I really want to continue feeling the way I do? No, I wanna start feeling great again. I know I can do it, I have done it before, but this time I am going to do this in a healthy way, where I can eat good food in abundance.
The other important thing to think about is getting organised... If I'm not organised at home, with food prep and routines for bed etc then I am not going to do this... It is critical that I get a grip on life!!
TODAYS STATS:
Weight 16.4lbs, 31.6% Body Fat
Chest 103cm
Belly Button 93cm
Hips 109cm
I want to commit to this for 1 month, I will allow a cheat meal each week.
ALCOHOL:
I need to decide on my alcohol intake ... I think I will cave in if I just say none.. for the last 5 months I have had alcohol pretty much everyday, so I will not drink during the week, but I am going to allow myself some on the weekend... but I have some tricks up my sleeve:
Becks Blue.... 50cals per bottle of beer (0% alcohol) ... I don't drink to get drunk so the alcohol level doesn't bother me, it's the taste and the habit that I want....
Banrock Rose - 56 cals per 125ml glass... this is in the cupboard, but I haven't tried it yet.
Echo Falls Spritzer - this is 100 cals per can, this was the alcohol of choice for me during my last weight loss stint.
I will aim to post regularly, the absolute minimum will be once per week as this helps me keep my head in gear and my thoughts on the right track. I am not going to get down on myself. I can and I will do this!!!
GOALS:
My goal has always been to hit around 135lbs, and I reckon I can get damn close by Xmas, another goal of mine has always been to have some All Saints jeans... now the waist size for these is 30 inches...so this is going to be what will be on my Xmas List.
PLAN:
Now I don't really believe in deprivation diets, I think they just lead to the day where you decide you have reached your goals and you start eating again and guess what - you are back where you started, I am proof of that.... Having lost nearly 25lbs I have put it all back on when I have started to eat the things I had banned for so long... luckily I have stopped before I have gone over what I weighed at the beginning, but I feel rubbish about myself and don't want to come back here again.
Foodwise then, I plan to eat clean... to fill myself up on lean protein, veggies, complex carbs, healthy fats and drink my water.I don't want to count calories... I no longer believe all calories are created equally!!
Training - will be daily weights & cardio, I will start at 30mins of each until I am in the routine of my early mornings again, then I will increase the time as I move closer to Christmas. Currently the cardio will need to be steady state as I have let my fitness levels drop so low that I need to build this up again!
MINDSET:
My head is getting there, but I realise I have to get my head in gear to get my body moving, but I do over analyse things and I have made the decision that I need to take action and my mind will join in as I am remembering how good I feel when I am working out & eating right. At the end of the day do I really want to continue feeling the way I do? No, I wanna start feeling great again. I know I can do it, I have done it before, but this time I am going to do this in a healthy way, where I can eat good food in abundance.
The other important thing to think about is getting organised... If I'm not organised at home, with food prep and routines for bed etc then I am not going to do this... It is critical that I get a grip on life!!
TODAYS STATS:
Weight 16.4lbs, 31.6% Body Fat
Chest 103cm
Belly Button 93cm
Hips 109cm
I want to commit to this for 1 month, I will allow a cheat meal each week.
ALCOHOL:
I need to decide on my alcohol intake ... I think I will cave in if I just say none.. for the last 5 months I have had alcohol pretty much everyday, so I will not drink during the week, but I am going to allow myself some on the weekend... but I have some tricks up my sleeve:
Becks Blue.... 50cals per bottle of beer (0% alcohol) ... I don't drink to get drunk so the alcohol level doesn't bother me, it's the taste and the habit that I want....
Banrock Rose - 56 cals per 125ml glass... this is in the cupboard, but I haven't tried it yet.
Echo Falls Spritzer - this is 100 cals per can, this was the alcohol of choice for me during my last weight loss stint.
I will aim to post regularly, the absolute minimum will be once per week as this helps me keep my head in gear and my thoughts on the right track. I am not going to get down on myself. I can and I will do this!!!
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