And a few days later....

Hmm, here I am again, same place, same space, just a few more days on from the last time I was trying to gain a handle on my life. Are you really living your life if you don't have goals...? Is it living to not really aim for anything or want to create something better?

Do I really want these things and what am I prepared to do to get them because last week I really wasn't that prepared to work for them and instead I floated and drifted and I had a terrible week!

I am not invested in me because my self belief is in the drain. Would you invest in something that you were sure would fail? No probably not....

I never have been a fighter... If something gets too hard I will tend to give up and walk away... What's the point I won't get to win anyway? I am certainly not by best friend...!

Hmm this is not my pity party but more a way to try to understand me? Why don't I wanna be the best I can, why do I chose to blow my diet or blow my workout off?
What do I gain? I need to get to the bottom of this before I can move forward.

I wish my brain would stop thinking... Of problems, of excuses, of reasons not or to put it off. It's time to invest in me, time to put the last year right.

I am Gayle and I am and will be a success!!

Tues 2nd April

All the best intentions....

I slept really lightly last night so I didn't feel at all rested on waking, but I chugged my water and fat burners at 3:50 ready for getting up at 4:00. I read recently that this was a great way to get yourself out of bed... Hmm not working for me, sleeping the alarm is giving me a chance to back out if the gyming, instead of the relaxing , steady wake up that it should be. I woke pretty happy to get up, took the burners and snoozed, then snoozed again, then realised I wasn't getting up and changed the alarm to 6:00. No workout for me today!

I am sabotaging myself a bit with indecision... Do I eat clean only, do I calorie count, do I go strict, do I do this relaxed ... Grr not sure which to go with...But I can't help thinking if I go reasonably strict for the next 12 weeks (until July) then I am going to be heading to 150 or less at 1lbish a week!! I like this idea, I can feel a little fire starting...
That's heading onto Maldives size when I felt great !!! Isn't that a good enough reason to do this and get my head down... In fact a 12 week dedication to all areas of my life will make amazing changes in my life!!!
So no kicking myself over today! I learnt a lesson (no snoozing anymore!) so that means that today has been a good day!!

Sun 31st & Mon 1st

W..w...w...wipe out!!!

What a crap couple of days on the well being front!!
We had the in laws over for Sunday lunch and the alcohol was seriously flowing!
Monday started at Mcd's then visiting family so the day disappeared, although I made a fantastic sweet & sour roast chicken which was fabulous!