Monday 17th March

Ok, ok I'm up, I snoozed the alarm but started to tell myself the reasons why I needed to hit the gym and so I made it, felt groggy and like I could have slept a lot longer but 30 mins later and I feel alright. Between snoozing and Eddie faffing around I am running a little later than normal though...

Weighed in at 160.8/ 31%, not that I give a crap about the lbs but that is 49.848lbs of fat and I wanna see that go down!

Ok so back & biceps trained followed by 10 mins on the treadmill then to hit the shower!

Morning was a bit chaotic due to lack of prep on Sunday night but I made it through and arrived at work on time. I had a good day at work and felt calm and into control as I left!

The evening was a good one, i did my main chores and watched The voice before heading to bed. It was a little later than I planned when I went to sleep!

Food:

1, protein latte

2, egg white, oats, banana, peanut butter, coffee

3, cottage cheese, mango, oatcakes, coffee

4, chicken, brown rice, broccoli, aonds, pineapple

5, same as 4

6 cottage cheese, blueberries, oatcakes, almonds

7, cod, ratatouille, cheese, garlic baguette, Becks blue

8, milk, 2 cubes dark choc

Holiday moments:

Watching the sunrise, 1st from the gym, then from my kitchen whilst getting ready for work <3

Don't think about it.. Do it

It's time to stop thinking about it.. Time to start taking action ...

Weekend 15/16 March

Saturday:

Got up (early) I chose not to hit the gym as I planned to get my chores done so we could hit the shops early, the iron could wait until the afternoon....

The hunt for a wedding outfit went on for around 6 hours and was totally unfruitful, but seeing myself in those changing room mirrors had me giving up on myself again!

I got home, searched the web for my outfit and had my bath and a usual Saturday night started... (No workout)!

I tell myself that Saturday is a cheat meal evening so I allow myself to pig out in the rich and tasty food that has become a major part of our Saturday night, in reality at the moment every night is a cheat night!

Headed to bed after watching The Voice and fell straight to sleep!

Sunday:

Got up with the Edster, then headed straight back to bed I could tell my sleep had been less than it should have (maybe the fault of the wine) then woke again around 6am.

So frustrated with my lack of (I wanna say progress, but I can't expect progress when I don't do anything) so I am frustrated with my lack if action, my procrastination, my inability right now to feel a 'buy in' to my goal.

Chores, brekkie (we both wanted a Full English Brekkie - so I allowed myself as long as I made it as clean as I could), then back to the outfit hunt!

Today I kitted myself out yay! And I feel better about myself than yesterday... I felt quite hot in my outfit!! Still the niggle that I do not have the body I want, but this one will do for the time being!

So I am now shattered, housework hasn't really been done, food needs prepping and again there has been no workout... Oh yes and for some reason I feel I deserve lasagne, garlic bread and wine tonight (mostly because I am pissed at myself)

Don't judge me today I have done enough of that for myself this weekend - this journal is the start of my 'progress not perfection' journey. Babysteps to being better, no deadlines, no crash diets, moderation, understanding myself and enjoying the journey is what I am focussing on x

Saturday:

1) coffee, egg white, oats, banana, peanut butter & flaxseed

2) slice of Hawaiian pizza

3) Becks blue beer 

4) steak, dauphinoise potatoes, stuffed mushroom, roasted mediteranean veggies, onion rings, pepper sauce

5) passion fruit cheesecake & 2 glasses of wine

Sunday:

1) coffee

2) 2x bacon, potato cakes(made from leftover dauphinoise), homemade pork patties, egg, Wholemeal English muffin, baked beans, coffee

3) Costa coffee medium cinnamon latte, shared a mango cooler with hubby 

4) biscotti (that I forgot to have with my coffee) 2x Becks blue

5) lasagne & garlic bread, wine

So what did I do right?

1) all in all around 10 hours of walking (trust me my feet are feeling it!!)

2) started Saturday with a healthy brekkie

3) didn't resort to a cafe full English made my own which would have been far healthier

What do I need to improve?

1) gotta, gotta hit the gym in morning, if not it doesn't happen!!!

2) plan weekend food, stop going with the flow!

3) sort out that steak night or use it as a proper cheat!!!

What if....

What if I just did it? What if I was consistant with my workouts, with what I eat? What if I stuck to it for 12 weeks?

Where would I be ? Who could I be?