Where am I right now?
Physically, I am in the worst shape I have been in for a long time. I weigh in at 161lbs & 31% Body Fat. Chest 97.5cm, Belly Button 95cm, Hips 107cm. Now this isn't the biggest I have ever been (note to self -remember those piccys from Cuba) but it is getting up there again!! Considering my target has always been 135lbs... I am way off track!!!
Mentally, I have lost the fire and dedication for my fitness and for my figure competition aspirations. After so many false starts and not finishing, not getting where I want to I have lost the belief that I can do this and since I can't do it I might as well eat chocolate! Underneath all this I am unhappy with the way I look, but am refusing to think about it so I am just sticking my head in the sand I guess...and fooling myself!
Where do I want to be?
Physically, I have touched on this already... my ulitmate goal is 135lbs, but I have such a long way to go now. My first step is to get to 150lbs....this has me at a reasonable weight for my wardrobe and I generally fit most of my clothes. My calculations tell me I can be there by 21st May which is almost 7 weeks away. My Ultimate goal of 135lbs can be reached by 7th Aug.
Mentally, I want my fire and my dedication back. I want to feel good about myself and be rid of the nagging that I should be doing something about it and making myself happy. I want the energy and vitality that comes with the 'fitness lifestyle' I want the confidence and strength.
How do I get there?
Physically, I work out and I eat clean. I follow my plan and I remove the 'extras' the 'little treats' and reduce the wine (which has got quite bad recently!) I suck it up and count calories, eating clean is great but I can't seem to control it as good as when I actually count the pesky calories.
Mentally, I have got to keep my eye on what I want. Yes I have a lot going on in my life at the moment, but for gods sake does eating a biscuit make it any easier than if I didn't eat the biscuit? Whats the choice... move into new house 5 lbs heavier because I didn't sort my head out or move in 5lbs lighter and already doing a good job? Exactly!
I control the number on the scales - it does not control me!!!!
I need to remember with every good choice or good action I will get stronger, happier and more dedicated and inspired to keep going.... I just need to get through those first few days and then it will be easier!
Ok so plan, track, log and do!!!
I've been exactly where you are and you can do it! Buy a pretty notebook that fits in your purse and you enjoy looking at it enough that you want it to sit on your desk at work, or your coffee table at night... Then log, log, log, journal your exercise, write yourself inspirational quotes and make diary type entries to push any feeling out into something other than food. Making the change is definitely a life time thing, but if you've lost weight before, you can do it again! Rock it!
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