So I pulled together my 'at my worst' info and came up with the pics below.. These are in 2008, I weighed 75kg, I hated my short hair, a had a stressful job, a wine habit and an inconsistent gym routine, I wasn't happy with myself, I was uncomfortable in my skin. It was on seeing these pics that I made up my mind to change and that never again in my life would I look back on pictures that held great memories with the feeling of embarrassment I did when I saw these...
Today I have short hair that I don't love, my job isn't as stressful nowadays, I have a wine habit (in fact I know there is a glassful left in an open bottle and I know there are two more bottles chilling in the fridge.... Not all for tonight, these should last me around 4 days!!), I am inconsistent with my eating and with the gym... And I weigh 74kg.. Talk about full circle!!
This doesn't make me sad or regretful, More so, it tells me I did it once I can do it again, what bothers me is that I was able to take my eye off the ball enough to end up at square 1, something didn't 'gel' on the 'lifestyle change' so I need to reflect on that ... Was I too strict? I definitely got the bulk of the weight off in the first few months...?
So first off what other matches are there? The wine is definitely one match, a bad habit I had then that I also have now... What else? Inconsistent food... The 'I will make a better choice later' or the 'I deserve this treat' factor... In consistent gym workouts, mindfulness... I have worked so hard to focus on now that I don't think of my future... Oh yeh the wine tastes and feels good now... What about when I am a stone heavier in the future will I regret it?
I am 37 now and I am aware that the illnesses may come sooner rather than later... I could be in my last decade of 'healthfulness' what choices I make today really do matter!
It is time I took responsibility for my life... Where I am going, who I wanna be... 5 years on and I still don't wanna be the 'chubby' girl in these pics!!
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