Despite the title this is not a pity party blog, but is just a reflection of how I feel about 2011.
I am calling it the lost year, because I haven't made any major steps forward this year. I am not saying I regret the year or that I want to forget the year... I had good times, but as far as my goals are concerned I didn't make progress..
Fitness & Nutrition:
I feel like this year I have re-instated all of the bad habits that I had managed to overcome, my food habits have become worse, my alcohol intake has increased and my gym consistency has reduced.
Mental Clarity:
My determination and focus has disappeared this year. I didn't set 'true' goals so I had nothing to focus on. The mindset of 'I'll do it tomorrow..' has seriously kicked my ass and caused me to procrastinate over everything and never really get anything done.
Stats:
Jan 2011 - weight 154.4lbs, Body Fat 29.1%
Dec 2011 - weight 157.8, Body Fat 30.2%
Feb 2011 - Chest 95cm, Belly Button 83cm, Hips 102cm
Dec 2011 - Chest 102cm, Belly button 94cm, Hips 107cm
Family & Relationships:
Me & Matt... still spot on, still love him, still enjoying our life together, still on the same path and wanting the same things - what more do I say. Tt is still great, our life together is great... if I had to pick something then I would say more sex would be good - cheeky ;-)
Career:
I have taken a step forward in my career by getting rid of my victim mindset. I realised that I do enjoy what I do and that I am good enough at it. I do make mistakes (as do others) but I manage to shake them off easier than before meaning that I don't get hung up on them and cause a great big mist of negativity around me. I still need to keep my fingers tightly crossed when redundancies come round.
Extras:
I had an amazing holiday to Thailand and I am so looking forward to going back there in the future!
I had a trip to London and did all the touristy things - it was great
I am now an external carer for my parent-in laws and the things I am doing is making they're lives better
We took a weekend trip to De Vere Carden Park to play golf
I have been on a trip to Turkey and visited some old friends, took the in-laws - it was a good trip, lots of memories.
We have learned to be able to manage Laika's (my dog) stomach problems through a clean diet!
I had a dramatic hair dye appointment and became red and love it!
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Friday, 16 December 2011
Things that just don't work
- Concentrating on the stuff I didn't do
- Planning my workout plan around sessions that I never make it to
- Eating too strictly that I fall off the wagon
- weighin in daily
- crash dieting
Tosca says - eat clean no calorie counting.
Jillian says - eat clean and calorie count
Bob says - eat clean and calorie count
Jamie Eason says = Eat clean, cal count and macros
Tuff chick did it by - Eat clean no calorie counting
Monica Brant - eat clean no cal counting
Body for Life - eat clean, no calorie
This is just a small bite of research that I have done because I am cross with myself. I can't seem to commit to a path or route to get to where I want to be. I am so used to going down the calorie counting route that I am frightened to move away from it. What if i stop and then never lose weight because I am not tracking what goes into my body? Not counting calories has made me lazy for tracking my food and then i think that I can be slack over what I am eating. Reducing my workout time has made me less focused and more likely to not nourish my body.
By not committing to a plan I am giving myself the opportunity to blunder around doing what i want in each moment and not focusing on the consequences. Take last night, we ate at a Thai restaurant.... It was an all you can eat buffet. There I was making choices and not really thinking about the consequences... oh I knew when I put the fried banana pieces in syrup on my plate that they weren' t a good choice but I wanted them anyway....that;s alright you say, a cheat once in a while is ok and I would agree if that was the only bad food choice I had made, but the bad food choices are more consistent than the good food choices.... Oh it is christmas you say....again if this was just something that was happening now fine, but it's been happening for months and it will go so way to explaining the additional 10lbs that I have gained recently!!!
I have told myself for weeks now that I need to work on some goals that are not scale related so that I have a focus, then the next time a fried banana chunk is tempting me I know why I am saying no....I can't seem to find the time to do this soul searching!
Why?
Is it because once I have made these goals I will have committed myself and i will have to do something to follow through...right now with no goals I can do what I want each day. Do I have a fear of commitment?
Is it because past experience seems to dictate that it is pointless because I never reach the goal in the end?
Is it just because I am lazy and can't be bothered doing the work?
Right now I kind of feel like I am fed up being the way I am, but can't be bothered to do anything about it...and whats the point especially with Xmas round the corner??
Jillian says - eat clean and calorie count
Bob says - eat clean and calorie count
Jamie Eason says = Eat clean, cal count and macros
Tuff chick did it by - Eat clean no calorie counting
Monica Brant - eat clean no cal counting
Body for Life - eat clean, no calorie
This is just a small bite of research that I have done because I am cross with myself. I can't seem to commit to a path or route to get to where I want to be. I am so used to going down the calorie counting route that I am frightened to move away from it. What if i stop and then never lose weight because I am not tracking what goes into my body? Not counting calories has made me lazy for tracking my food and then i think that I can be slack over what I am eating. Reducing my workout time has made me less focused and more likely to not nourish my body.
By not committing to a plan I am giving myself the opportunity to blunder around doing what i want in each moment and not focusing on the consequences. Take last night, we ate at a Thai restaurant.... It was an all you can eat buffet. There I was making choices and not really thinking about the consequences... oh I knew when I put the fried banana pieces in syrup on my plate that they weren' t a good choice but I wanted them anyway....that;s alright you say, a cheat once in a while is ok and I would agree if that was the only bad food choice I had made, but the bad food choices are more consistent than the good food choices.... Oh it is christmas you say....again if this was just something that was happening now fine, but it's been happening for months and it will go so way to explaining the additional 10lbs that I have gained recently!!!
I have told myself for weeks now that I need to work on some goals that are not scale related so that I have a focus, then the next time a fried banana chunk is tempting me I know why I am saying no....I can't seem to find the time to do this soul searching!
Why?
Is it because once I have made these goals I will have committed myself and i will have to do something to follow through...right now with no goals I can do what I want each day. Do I have a fear of commitment?
Is it because past experience seems to dictate that it is pointless because I never reach the goal in the end?
Is it just because I am lazy and can't be bothered doing the work?
Right now I kind of feel like I am fed up being the way I am, but can't be bothered to do anything about it...and whats the point especially with Xmas round the corner??
Monday, 12 December 2011
Ok, Ok you've been trying to tell me...!
So I learned a lot from the Jillian Michaels podcasts.. not only how to lose weight, but also lots of other 'mindhacks' and things to be aware of. I didn't always use them, but they were obviously stored in some filing cabinet in my brain because all of a sudden one of them has popped up.
Jillian would talk about how the subject of a podcast would be determined by 'what the universe was trying to tell her', so she would look at what had been a running theme through the things she read, the discussions she had, the experiences she was having in life. So if she seemed to pick up a few magazines and they all had an article about injury and then someone close to her got an injury and then someone wrote to her over facebook about an injury, she would realise that this theme was running through her week and discuss this in the podcast. She would often say that the universe will keep telling you this over and over until you take the action and learn the lesson and then you can move on.
Well everything I seem to look at, to listen to this last week or so seems to be going down the route of not calorie counting, just eating clean & working out. I must have read 4 articles over the weekend out of random magazines that all push me down this route. Whilst sorting out the Xmas tree I found an old book just stuffed under the sofa, it was a Jackie Warner book telling me not to count calories and that I need a lifestyle change.
So I laid out in the bath yesterday in my chocolate waffle bubble bath (oh if you can't eat it.... ) and thought this through. We all know I lost 20lbs, but I did it by reducing my basic calorie intake to 1200 ( and eating mostly clean), I would probably have a couple of cheats on top of that to tip me to more like 1400, but still... my focus was on calorie control and what has happened? Over the years since then I have gone to a more relaxed way of eating and bad habits have come back and I have put on 1/2 of that lost weight again. I will go from being super strict to binging and round again, so I have become the classic yo-yo dieter that I have always frowned upon, because I believe it is the worst thing you can do to your body.
So my new plan has been chosen.... I am going to focus on health, on eating an abundance of clean foods and treat it as a lifestyle overhaul, not just another quick plan to reduce my weight!
Talking of focus... That's my other problem. I need to flip my brain over. All the books and articles I have read about making goals say to focus on what you want not what you don't want... apparently the mind can't understand the word 'don't or do' so if you are thinking 'I don't wanna weigh 155lbs' your mind hears 'I wanna weigh 155lbs' I am a big one for this, I seem to constantly focus on the 'don't wants' and then I never seem to move forwards.
So a new journey begins.... I am calling it Xmas with my Inner Athlete! It is where I pretend I am already at goal and act how I would in that instance and see what happens. No more 'don't wants', no more calorie counting...it's time to start enjoying the journey!!!
Jillian would talk about how the subject of a podcast would be determined by 'what the universe was trying to tell her', so she would look at what had been a running theme through the things she read, the discussions she had, the experiences she was having in life. So if she seemed to pick up a few magazines and they all had an article about injury and then someone close to her got an injury and then someone wrote to her over facebook about an injury, she would realise that this theme was running through her week and discuss this in the podcast. She would often say that the universe will keep telling you this over and over until you take the action and learn the lesson and then you can move on.
Well everything I seem to look at, to listen to this last week or so seems to be going down the route of not calorie counting, just eating clean & working out. I must have read 4 articles over the weekend out of random magazines that all push me down this route. Whilst sorting out the Xmas tree I found an old book just stuffed under the sofa, it was a Jackie Warner book telling me not to count calories and that I need a lifestyle change.
So I laid out in the bath yesterday in my chocolate waffle bubble bath (oh if you can't eat it.... ) and thought this through. We all know I lost 20lbs, but I did it by reducing my basic calorie intake to 1200 ( and eating mostly clean), I would probably have a couple of cheats on top of that to tip me to more like 1400, but still... my focus was on calorie control and what has happened? Over the years since then I have gone to a more relaxed way of eating and bad habits have come back and I have put on 1/2 of that lost weight again. I will go from being super strict to binging and round again, so I have become the classic yo-yo dieter that I have always frowned upon, because I believe it is the worst thing you can do to your body.
So my new plan has been chosen.... I am going to focus on health, on eating an abundance of clean foods and treat it as a lifestyle overhaul, not just another quick plan to reduce my weight!
Talking of focus... That's my other problem. I need to flip my brain over. All the books and articles I have read about making goals say to focus on what you want not what you don't want... apparently the mind can't understand the word 'don't or do' so if you are thinking 'I don't wanna weigh 155lbs' your mind hears 'I wanna weigh 155lbs' I am a big one for this, I seem to constantly focus on the 'don't wants' and then I never seem to move forwards.
So a new journey begins.... I am calling it Xmas with my Inner Athlete! It is where I pretend I am already at goal and act how I would in that instance and see what happens. No more 'don't wants', no more calorie counting...it's time to start enjoying the journey!!!
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Wrong Direction..?
Once upon a time, there was a girl who began to learn about 'ultra' fitness... not just a 'I go to the gym 4 times per week and I eat well' kind of fitness, but a whole other level, a level where bodies are not just toned and taught but are ripped, the only lumps and bumps on the bodies are meant to be there, they are the biceps, the shoulders, the rounded glutes etc.. These 'ultra fit' women grace the covers of M & F Hers & Oxygen not Shape or other 'fitness' mags. These women take part in bodybuilding competitions. These women have a level of dedication, of total focus on their goals. These women live a life of health and well being. The girl wanted a piece of that life.
She researched and tried to put into practise what she learned.... things got in her way and things didn't always go to plan, but she was always able to bring herself back to the starting line, no matter how long she had been away... She wanted the life that the fitness, the dedication would bring and the years moved on whilst she continued trying, in fact 10 years went by since she had started and the goal was still a long way out in front. After a long time away she had increased in weight and body fat and knew she had to lose it. She researched again.... but this time the focus was on weight loss and her mind not the strength, dedication and clean eating as before. Jillian Michaels taught her everything that the girl now knows about weight loss and 20lbs were dropped! The confidence and attitude of this slowly disappeared and the bad habits started to creep in again along with 10lbs.
So where is the girl now...
She's lost. She's been trying for this goal and missing it for so long that she has given up. She has lost her focus and fire for the goal she has chased for so long.
So where does she go from here? She doesn't want to give up, she has been so close to reaching her goal that she knows she can get there again. She feels bad about herself, her look, her attitude and doesn't want to continue feeling that way. The bad habits have crept in so much that they have become second nature, instead of the automatic response being the healthy one, she so easily goes for the unhealthy one and at this time of the year it is so easy to do.
So she need to rethink her goals, look at what she wants and why she wants it and then road map her way there. Then start to take the steps she needs to, one day at a time. It's a difficult time of year to put these kind of plans in place... parties, meals out, roast dinners, trips away etc... but if she can make the 'healthy' choice then she will at least start to change the habits and stop feeling guilty, regretful etc....
She researched and tried to put into practise what she learned.... things got in her way and things didn't always go to plan, but she was always able to bring herself back to the starting line, no matter how long she had been away... She wanted the life that the fitness, the dedication would bring and the years moved on whilst she continued trying, in fact 10 years went by since she had started and the goal was still a long way out in front. After a long time away she had increased in weight and body fat and knew she had to lose it. She researched again.... but this time the focus was on weight loss and her mind not the strength, dedication and clean eating as before. Jillian Michaels taught her everything that the girl now knows about weight loss and 20lbs were dropped! The confidence and attitude of this slowly disappeared and the bad habits started to creep in again along with 10lbs.
So where is the girl now...
She's lost. She's been trying for this goal and missing it for so long that she has given up. She has lost her focus and fire for the goal she has chased for so long.
So where does she go from here? She doesn't want to give up, she has been so close to reaching her goal that she knows she can get there again. She feels bad about herself, her look, her attitude and doesn't want to continue feeling that way. The bad habits have crept in so much that they have become second nature, instead of the automatic response being the healthy one, she so easily goes for the unhealthy one and at this time of the year it is so easy to do.
So she need to rethink her goals, look at what she wants and why she wants it and then road map her way there. Then start to take the steps she needs to, one day at a time. It's a difficult time of year to put these kind of plans in place... parties, meals out, roast dinners, trips away etc... but if she can make the 'healthy' choice then she will at least start to change the habits and stop feeling guilty, regretful etc....
Monday, 28 November 2011
Be Nice....
It's so easy to be horrid to ourselves... too easy!
I find that I have so many reasons to tell myself that I am not good enough that it is weighing me down (in more ways than one probably!). I do not live up to my own expectations - but isn't that because I am trying to be Perfect... Yes Lacey I did take note of your recent comment.... :-)
I often tell myself that I don't want to be perfect - 'We are perfect because of our imperfections' (Jillian Michaels), but I do want to be the BEST ME that I can be and when I know I could do better I get frustrated and disappointed in myself.
I wanna be kind to me and this means eradicating some of the things that make me nasty to me....
1, The scales..... the lbs no longer matter in myweight loss fitness journey. The lbs are a guideline, but they are most definitly not what tells me if I am doing well. I will reduce weigh ins to 1 x monthly as each time I see a number over 150lbs I am disappointed in myself!
2, Figure Comp... I have wanted to do one for years, I keep giving myself a deadline and failing to reach the target, so I will not put myself under this pressure anymore. There are several competitions I could do if I choose to over the next year... but right now I am not thinking about them. When I have leaned down considerably I will then look and see if there is one within the next 15 weeks and then start to prep. So now I have made this decision I can stop berating myself over not being dedicated to this goal.
3, Counting every single calorie... This can't be good for your mental health really when you think about it (unless you are in contest prep) so my target each day is to eat as cleanly as possible and hydrate well. I am not restricting my food at all. I will eat when I am ready and reasonable qty's. I am allowed to cheat, but not every meal or everyday.
So I am following in a fellow M&F Hers'er Michelle and starting Project Me and I am going to start to give myself a bit of a break... the weight doesn't matter, competing doesn't matter (right now). The only thing that matters at the moment is making the right choices and being consistant!
I find that I have so many reasons to tell myself that I am not good enough that it is weighing me down (in more ways than one probably!). I do not live up to my own expectations - but isn't that because I am trying to be Perfect... Yes Lacey I did take note of your recent comment.... :-)
I often tell myself that I don't want to be perfect - 'We are perfect because of our imperfections' (Jillian Michaels), but I do want to be the BEST ME that I can be and when I know I could do better I get frustrated and disappointed in myself.
I wanna be kind to me and this means eradicating some of the things that make me nasty to me....
1, The scales..... the lbs no longer matter in my
2, Figure Comp... I have wanted to do one for years, I keep giving myself a deadline and failing to reach the target, so I will not put myself under this pressure anymore. There are several competitions I could do if I choose to over the next year... but right now I am not thinking about them. When I have leaned down considerably I will then look and see if there is one within the next 15 weeks and then start to prep. So now I have made this decision I can stop berating myself over not being dedicated to this goal.
3, Counting every single calorie... This can't be good for your mental health really when you think about it (unless you are in contest prep) so my target each day is to eat as cleanly as possible and hydrate well. I am not restricting my food at all. I will eat when I am ready and reasonable qty's. I am allowed to cheat, but not every meal or everyday.
So I am following in a fellow M&F Hers'er Michelle and starting Project Me and I am going to start to give myself a bit of a break... the weight doesn't matter, competing doesn't matter (right now). The only thing that matters at the moment is making the right choices and being consistant!
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Perfect...?
I wanted this blog to be the best thing I had ever written, something that would inspire others, help people to lose weight and help others make a decision on competing. As well as a log I wanted there to be lots of helpful posts about different things I am experiencing at different times. I wanted it to be perfect.
Searching for this perfection has stopped me coming by and writing:
'I'll blog tomorrow when I have more time to think about what I will write'
'I haven't got anything great in my head to talk about right now so I'll do it later'
Then over a week passes and if there is anyone out there who is checking this blog out for inspiration then I have to say I cannot have inspired you at all!!!
I am learning that this is a bad habit of mine.... I don't have time right now to clean the bathroom properly so I'll do it later..... wouldn't it be better to just clean the loo or the sink and then if something comes up and I don't get a chance then at least the sink or loo has been cleaned...?
I'm learning and taking a step at a time. I have gone through this process before so I do know there is light at the end of the tunnel, but the one thing I don't wanna do this time is to 're-learn' it all again in a year or so, when I am putting the weight back on because I have let everything slide! This time is the last time I go through this process... after this I want to be living the Healthy, Fit Life forever!!!
(I promise to blog more in future!)
Searching for this perfection has stopped me coming by and writing:
'I'll blog tomorrow when I have more time to think about what I will write'
'I haven't got anything great in my head to talk about right now so I'll do it later'
Then over a week passes and if there is anyone out there who is checking this blog out for inspiration then I have to say I cannot have inspired you at all!!!
I am learning that this is a bad habit of mine.... I don't have time right now to clean the bathroom properly so I'll do it later..... wouldn't it be better to just clean the loo or the sink and then if something comes up and I don't get a chance then at least the sink or loo has been cleaned...?
I'm learning and taking a step at a time. I have gone through this process before so I do know there is light at the end of the tunnel, but the one thing I don't wanna do this time is to 're-learn' it all again in a year or so, when I am putting the weight back on because I have let everything slide! This time is the last time I go through this process... after this I want to be living the Healthy, Fit Life forever!!!
(I promise to blog more in future!)
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
If you keep doing what you have always done......
You'll get the same results as you have always got!
So time to analyze and work out whats wrong:
Weight Training:
I plan to do 45 mins training each day - 2 x lower body, and then 3 days upper (alternating between Back/Biceps and Chest/Should/Tricep).
But - it isn't often I get through the full week and on average I would say I make it to Wednesday so I actually only get 3 workouts in.
Cardio:
I plan on anything between 30 to 45 mins cardio after work each night. It is touch and go whether I make it... main excuses being - too tired, can't be bothered, need to tidy house.
Food:
I plan for 1500 cals a day - 40% carb, 30% pro & 30% fat... I tend to overeat on chocolate cookies, on treats and large portions. I can be flaky on pre-planning which causes bad choices. I generally blow the weekends out of the water with food and drink
Water:
I plan to drink 2l a day (not including gym water). I am lucky if I drink 1 glass!!
Mindset:
Should be upbeat and focussed, tend to be negative with no self belief.
So I definitly need to make some changes and become more aware of the slip ups.
And just to put this into calorie perspective....
In-daily = 2000x5 + 3000x2 = 16000
Out-daily-weights = 300x3 = 900
Out-daily-cardio = 400x2 = 800
Out-AMR=1535x7 = 10745
So grand total of: 3,555 extra that I have eaten compared to what I have burned.... no wonder that I seem to have put on 4 to 6 lb since my holiday in September (and the calorie intake up here was quite conservative I felt!!!)
Sort your self out missus!!!
So time to analyze and work out whats wrong:
Weight Training:
I plan to do 45 mins training each day - 2 x lower body, and then 3 days upper (alternating between Back/Biceps and Chest/Should/Tricep).
But - it isn't often I get through the full week and on average I would say I make it to Wednesday so I actually only get 3 workouts in.
Cardio:
I plan on anything between 30 to 45 mins cardio after work each night. It is touch and go whether I make it... main excuses being - too tired, can't be bothered, need to tidy house.
Food:
I plan for 1500 cals a day - 40% carb, 30% pro & 30% fat... I tend to overeat on chocolate cookies, on treats and large portions. I can be flaky on pre-planning which causes bad choices. I generally blow the weekends out of the water with food and drink
Water:
I plan to drink 2l a day (not including gym water). I am lucky if I drink 1 glass!!
Mindset:
Should be upbeat and focussed, tend to be negative with no self belief.
So I definitly need to make some changes and become more aware of the slip ups.
And just to put this into calorie perspective....
In-daily = 2000x5 + 3000x2 = 16000
Out-daily-weights = 300x3 = 900
Out-daily-cardio = 400x2 = 800
Out-AMR=1535x7 = 10745
So grand total of: 3,555 extra that I have eaten compared to what I have burned.... no wonder that I seem to have put on 4 to 6 lb since my holiday in September (and the calorie intake up here was quite conservative I felt!!!)
Sort your self out missus!!!
Friday, 11 November 2011
Struggling.....
Yes, I am struggling this week. I have continued down the path that I was on unble to bring myself back in line and under control.
I don't know what is wrong with me this week...
I can't blame work because it has been a good week...
I can't blame stress at home because it has been a good week....
I did blame Sunday for a while, we had a late night and I thought this had knocked me off track...
I do blame my flu jab that I had last week, because I have felt a bit under the weather this week...
But most of all I blame myself...
So what was stopping me eating well? I can't come up with a good reason, but I can come up with loads as to why I should've!
So what was stopping me going to the gym? Again, no good reason, but a list as long as my arm for why I should've!
I realised something yesterday, maybe it has sent me into a small depression, but I have slowly been getting to big for my clothes again.... when I first came back from holiday I realised that my golf trousers were getting a little uncomfortable for 4 hours of golf, so I put them at the back of my wardrobe and moved on to some older ones 'I'll be back wearing them in a couple of weeks...' now I realise the same has happened with my work trousers.... I've either been ignoring it or something because it didn't really hit me until yesterday. I also hopped on the scales... not a good result.. 156.6lbs, in my head I think I am around 150lb max, in fact I told myself when I first got below 150 that I would never go above it again, 150 was my WARNING sign, my ALARM BELL and I have slowly put on more and more weight! I am not just a couple of lbs over I am a lot over!
Ok so that's where I am at right now... I am down about it, I am pissed off about it... I have wallowed a bit since I realised, but I have two choices don't I?
1, Carry on... continue not putting in the effort, continue not tracking food, continue only going to the gym when you totally feel like it ------- All I see down this path is getting bigger and more depressed, this path saddens and scares me.
2, Pull myself together... start logging food, tracking cals, going to the gym, keeping organised and prepared ------- This path takes me to a great place, a place of wellbeing and happiness, a place of not berating myself for making the bad choice, this path excites me.
SoI have got to no I want to no I am taking a step on the ladder, baby steps.. but this time I have got to get my head in it with me. Time to really focus on my goals and making life what I want it to be!!
I don't know what is wrong with me this week...
I can't blame work because it has been a good week...
I can't blame stress at home because it has been a good week....
I did blame Sunday for a while, we had a late night and I thought this had knocked me off track...
I do blame my flu jab that I had last week, because I have felt a bit under the weather this week...
But most of all I blame myself...
So what was stopping me eating well? I can't come up with a good reason, but I can come up with loads as to why I should've!
So what was stopping me going to the gym? Again, no good reason, but a list as long as my arm for why I should've!
I realised something yesterday, maybe it has sent me into a small depression, but I have slowly been getting to big for my clothes again.... when I first came back from holiday I realised that my golf trousers were getting a little uncomfortable for 4 hours of golf, so I put them at the back of my wardrobe and moved on to some older ones 'I'll be back wearing them in a couple of weeks...' now I realise the same has happened with my work trousers.... I've either been ignoring it or something because it didn't really hit me until yesterday. I also hopped on the scales... not a good result.. 156.6lbs, in my head I think I am around 150lb max, in fact I told myself when I first got below 150 that I would never go above it again, 150 was my WARNING sign, my ALARM BELL and I have slowly put on more and more weight! I am not just a couple of lbs over I am a lot over!
Ok so that's where I am at right now... I am down about it, I am pissed off about it... I have wallowed a bit since I realised, but I have two choices don't I?
1, Carry on... continue not putting in the effort, continue not tracking food, continue only going to the gym when you totally feel like it ------- All I see down this path is getting bigger and more depressed, this path saddens and scares me.
2, Pull myself together... start logging food, tracking cals, going to the gym, keeping organised and prepared ------- This path takes me to a great place, a place of wellbeing and happiness, a place of not berating myself for making the bad choice, this path excites me.
So
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
2nd weekend in...
Forgive me Health and Fitness Lord for I have sinned!
I have had the laziest, most unplanned, un prep'd few days!
And my punishment will surely be an increase in kgs, in bodyfat and in jiggle!
I won't even bother to log everything that I have eaten and there is no exercise or workouts to log from the weekend, but as I am confessing here is the full statement:
Thursday - went ok, ended on Lasagne, Chips, beans, onion rings, garlic bread and wine. Worked out - weights and cardio
Friday - started well, ended with Parkin, bonfire toffee, sausages and wine. Worked out - weights
Saturday - A healthy breakfast started the day - no exercise, ended on Dominos pizza and wine
Sunday - Again started well with the best of intentions, ended with steak, chips, peas, onion rings, peppersauce and beer.
Highlights and lowlights of the weekend:
Bonfire Night - a couple of hours standing in the rain under a golf umbrella with the heat of a huge fire warming my face. Watching the amazing firework show with the other 4-5,000 people who were there.
MG's neck - Hubby has hurt his neck doing Shoulder Presses, he is in quite a bit of pain and not able to move very well - especially 1st thing in the morning - this put paid to any golfing plans we had!
Strictly Come Dancing - Robbie Savage, James Jordan and ... erm Russell Grant are fast becoming my guilty pleasues.
Pete Griffin - MG's artist Uncle came to see us.. a few drinks and great conversation followed.
So I will chalk this weekend down and move on. I can't move straight on now as everything is unorganised and messed up. I need to line up my ships before I can start the attack again... so the ships that need lining up by the end of today are:
- Tiredness... after a late night last night I need to get some kip and stop that hunger hormone raging through my body
- House ... is a pigsty, the 1st hour of my arrival home will be time to blitz
- Prep... 2nd hour of being at home will be making tea and prepping food for tomorrow. I know by plenty of experience that and un-prepped Gayle is a tempted Gayle
- Gym... getting back to working out 1st thing tomorrow will get me back on the wagon.
Weight target for Friday is 69.7...... drink plenty of water, get on the eating and training wagon and I might just pull this back in line!!!!
I have had the laziest, most unplanned, un prep'd few days!
And my punishment will surely be an increase in kgs, in bodyfat and in jiggle!
I won't even bother to log everything that I have eaten and there is no exercise or workouts to log from the weekend, but as I am confessing here is the full statement:
Thursday - went ok, ended on Lasagne, Chips, beans, onion rings, garlic bread and wine. Worked out - weights and cardio
Friday - started well, ended with Parkin, bonfire toffee, sausages and wine. Worked out - weights
Saturday - A healthy breakfast started the day - no exercise, ended on Dominos pizza and wine
Sunday - Again started well with the best of intentions, ended with steak, chips, peas, onion rings, peppersauce and beer.
Highlights and lowlights of the weekend:
Bonfire Night - a couple of hours standing in the rain under a golf umbrella with the heat of a huge fire warming my face. Watching the amazing firework show with the other 4-5,000 people who were there.
MG's neck - Hubby has hurt his neck doing Shoulder Presses, he is in quite a bit of pain and not able to move very well - especially 1st thing in the morning - this put paid to any golfing plans we had!
Strictly Come Dancing - Robbie Savage, James Jordan and ... erm Russell Grant are fast becoming my guilty pleasues.
Pete Griffin - MG's artist Uncle came to see us.. a few drinks and great conversation followed.
So I will chalk this weekend down and move on. I can't move straight on now as everything is unorganised and messed up. I need to line up my ships before I can start the attack again... so the ships that need lining up by the end of today are:
- Tiredness... after a late night last night I need to get some kip and stop that hunger hormone raging through my body
- House ... is a pigsty, the 1st hour of my arrival home will be time to blitz
- Prep... 2nd hour of being at home will be making tea and prepping food for tomorrow. I know by plenty of experience that and un-prepped Gayle is a tempted Gayle
- Gym... getting back to working out 1st thing tomorrow will get me back on the wagon.
Weight target for Friday is 69.7...... drink plenty of water, get on the eating and training wagon and I might just pull this back in line!!!!
Saturday, 5 November 2011
Week 1 Round Up
So the week went something like this:
Friday 28th - 71.4kg/30.1%
Saturday - Played golf (11 holes), Ate well...some treats, Cinema and Meal out at night.
Sunday - Played golf (full round - scored 135 - not good!), Ate well, some treats
Monday - 70.3/ 29.7% Back into it, Ate clean, Leg workout & cardio completed
Tuesday - Ate clean, Chest/Should/Tricep workout, No cardio - worked late. Tempted to go for easy food option, but stuck to my guns and ate clean instead.
Wednesday - 69.7kg/ 29.3% Still eating clean, Back & bicep workout and Cardio
Thursday - Ate clean during day - cheat meal at night (lasagne, fries, beans, garlic bread & glass of wine), Leg workout and some cardio... found it really hard and only managed 25mins
Friday 70.5kg/ 29.7% - weight increase must be down to cheat meal, but is still on target would have been ahead of target without cheat meal ... :-( Fell off wagon a little - Bonfire Night...
So I am pleased with myself... I have got myself back on track, still need to tweek a few things and force myself to do the chores that I need to do to keep myself organised. My arms are feeling great... but I know the majority of effort needs to be in Cardio to burn the body fat off.... I reckon once it's gone my body will be quite muscle-y... just need to remove this fat layer!!!
So targets for next week are:
1, Track food properly!!!
2, Stay organised
3, Hit as many workouts as poss!!!
Bring it on!
Friday 28th - 71.4kg/30.1%
Saturday - Played golf (11 holes), Ate well...some treats, Cinema and Meal out at night.
Sunday - Played golf (full round - scored 135 - not good!), Ate well, some treats
Monday - 70.3/ 29.7% Back into it, Ate clean, Leg workout & cardio completed
Tuesday - Ate clean, Chest/Should/Tricep workout, No cardio - worked late. Tempted to go for easy food option, but stuck to my guns and ate clean instead.
Wednesday - 69.7kg/ 29.3% Still eating clean, Back & bicep workout and Cardio
Thursday - Ate clean during day - cheat meal at night (lasagne, fries, beans, garlic bread & glass of wine), Leg workout and some cardio... found it really hard and only managed 25mins
Friday 70.5kg/ 29.7% - weight increase must be down to cheat meal, but is still on target would have been ahead of target without cheat meal ... :-( Fell off wagon a little - Bonfire Night...
So I am pleased with myself... I have got myself back on track, still need to tweek a few things and force myself to do the chores that I need to do to keep myself organised. My arms are feeling great... but I know the majority of effort needs to be in Cardio to burn the body fat off.... I reckon once it's gone my body will be quite muscle-y... just need to remove this fat layer!!!
So targets for next week are:
1, Track food properly!!!
2, Stay organised
3, Hit as many workouts as poss!!!
Bring it on!
Friday, 4 November 2011
Bonfire Night.... eh?
I don't really get it.... I go along with it, but I don't get it.
Some bloke called Guy Fawkes is caught trying to blow up the houses of parliament years ago and so each year now everyone in UK builds a big bonfire and lets fireworks go to celebrate...
For my hubby this is a milestone in the year... New Year, Vacation, Summer, His birthday, My birthday, Bonfire Night, Christmas.
So tonight we will go out to 'Rothwell Park', we'll be a wrapped up with hats, scarves, wellies etc...This year he has been plannng the 'goodies' to eat all week, so we'll be taking Oxtail Soup in a flask (urgh!), my mum will make Bonfire toffee and I have Yorkshire Parkin. We'll watch the fire burn and 'ooh ' and 'aah' at the fireworks whilst Hubby has his goodies and then within a couple of hours we'll be back at home, all our clothes smelling of smoke.
Now don't get me wrong I enjoy it and I always have a good time, but it seems such a strange tradition!!
Some bloke called Guy Fawkes is caught trying to blow up the houses of parliament years ago and so each year now everyone in UK builds a big bonfire and lets fireworks go to celebrate...
For my hubby this is a milestone in the year... New Year, Vacation, Summer, His birthday, My birthday, Bonfire Night, Christmas.
So tonight we will go out to 'Rothwell Park', we'll be a wrapped up with hats, scarves, wellies etc...This year he has been plannng the 'goodies' to eat all week, so we'll be taking Oxtail Soup in a flask (urgh!), my mum will make Bonfire toffee and I have Yorkshire Parkin. We'll watch the fire burn and 'ooh ' and 'aah' at the fireworks whilst Hubby has his goodies and then within a couple of hours we'll be back at home, all our clothes smelling of smoke.
Now don't get me wrong I enjoy it and I always have a good time, but it seems such a strange tradition!!
Sunday, 30 October 2011
DAY 9 ..... My mojo is coming back to me!
Feeling good today...[quick stop ... someone take note of this moment!] :-)
So I decided that I have this idea of the person I want to be... well to be her I have to do what I think she would do... for example: She gets' on with stuff, she doesn't put things off...
Oh yeh... and I have to stop putting off being her until tomorrow!! ;-)
So I have made better food choices that usual, we played golf on Saturday and I didn't spend the whole time moaning and feeling like I want to go home and either do chores or lay on settee......we were out with friends at night... dinner, drinks and watching a film.... Check me out for these choices:
~ I drove so I didn't drink alcohol
~ We didn't do starters or desserts
~ Instead of pasta or pizza I chose chicken, pancetta and avocado salad (with dressing on the side) ... but I did have a small beer
~ The 'table' ordered Garlic Bread Pizza with cheese.... I didn't touch it
~ I chose a bottle of water to take into the cinema with me (not cola)
~ I did have a small bag of sweet popcorn.... but I did intend to take some raw almonds with me and I would have been very happy with this if I hadn't forgotten them!
BTW the film we watched... Paranormal Activity 3 (very halloween!) must have made me burn extra calories as my heart rate must have been sky high and my adrenalin was through the roof!!!!
On to today... I haven't made it to the gym to work my back & biceps, but I'm sure at this stage my muscles won't miss it too much... but we have played golf and my golf mojo is definitly back I really enjoyed it (when I am on a 'down' my golf mojo is the first thing to go, so the fact it is back bodes well for the week ahead!!!
I am about to go for a long soak... food so far has been ok.... then I am prepping my food for the week ahead!!
Yay .. go me!!
So I decided that I have this idea of the person I want to be... well to be her I have to do what I think she would do... for example: She gets' on with stuff, she doesn't put things off...
Oh yeh... and I have to stop putting off being her until tomorrow!! ;-)
So I have made better food choices that usual, we played golf on Saturday and I didn't spend the whole time moaning and feeling like I want to go home and either do chores or lay on settee......we were out with friends at night... dinner, drinks and watching a film.... Check me out for these choices:
~ I drove so I didn't drink alcohol
~ We didn't do starters or desserts
~ Instead of pasta or pizza I chose chicken, pancetta and avocado salad (with dressing on the side) ... but I did have a small beer
~ The 'table' ordered Garlic Bread Pizza with cheese.... I didn't touch it
~ I chose a bottle of water to take into the cinema with me (not cola)
~ I did have a small bag of sweet popcorn.... but I did intend to take some raw almonds with me and I would have been very happy with this if I hadn't forgotten them!
BTW the film we watched... Paranormal Activity 3 (very halloween!) must have made me burn extra calories as my heart rate must have been sky high and my adrenalin was through the roof!!!!
On to today... I haven't made it to the gym to work my back & biceps, but I'm sure at this stage my muscles won't miss it too much... but we have played golf and my golf mojo is definitly back I really enjoyed it (when I am on a 'down' my golf mojo is the first thing to go, so the fact it is back bodes well for the week ahead!!!
I am about to go for a long soak... food so far has been ok.... then I am prepping my food for the week ahead!!
Yay .. go me!!
Thank crunchie the week is over
(this was yesterdays post...left in as a draft by accident!!)
It was a tough week, one that should have kick started my fitness, but instead I spent my time either at work (most of my time) or in my head (thinking about all the mental side of getting back in gear) or procrastinating a feeling bad about this or that.....
AS FROM TODAY I WILL NOT FEEL BAD ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING!!
(feeling bad is sooooo yesterday!)
Things that make me feel bad:
1, When I let my hubby down. This usually happens when he goes to wear something that I haven't washed yet or when I haven't prep'd his food. At the moment he is getting frustrated with me for a lot of reasons.
2, When I don't eat right and to plan
3, When I don't make it to the gym
4, When I don't keep on top of my house
So the best way to stop feeling bad is to stop doing the things that make me feel bad. So I need to stop slacking on workouts and food and starting to look after my home and family. I need to make the hours of 5.30pm to 8.15am about Me and My Family (not about work) and make the hours of 8.15am to 5.30pm as effictive and efficient as I can.
My plan for this week:
Food = Eat 1500 cals per weekday and usual macros (40%carb, 30%pro, 30%fat). Eat 1800 cals Sat & Sun (same macros)
2 x cheat meals allowed over the week.
Alchohol = Reduce intake by having spritzers not full glasses ) 2 x 100 cals for each)
Water = Drink some of the bloody stuff!!!
Workout Plan:
Sat - Golf
Sun - Back & Biceps (am) / Golf (pm)
Mon - Legs (am) / Treadmill (pm)
Tue - Chest/ Shoulders/Tri's (am) / X Trainer (pm)
Wed - Back & Biceps (am) / Treadmill (pm)
Thu - Legs (am) / Stair mill (pm)
Fri - Chest/Shoulders/Tri's (am)
Sat - Treadmill (am)
Stop feeling bad:
Do as flylady does and start a morning & evening routine that works...
Pay off small chunks of the housework loan!
Anti-procrastination mission:
Do not put anything off (especially living) for tomorrow... live your life today!!
Do as Nike says..
'Just Do It'
It was a tough week, one that should have kick started my fitness, but instead I spent my time either at work (most of my time) or in my head (thinking about all the mental side of getting back in gear) or procrastinating a feeling bad about this or that.....
AS FROM TODAY I WILL NOT FEEL BAD ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING!!
(feeling bad is sooooo yesterday!)
Things that make me feel bad:
1, When I let my hubby down. This usually happens when he goes to wear something that I haven't washed yet or when I haven't prep'd his food. At the moment he is getting frustrated with me for a lot of reasons.
2, When I don't eat right and to plan
3, When I don't make it to the gym
4, When I don't keep on top of my house
So the best way to stop feeling bad is to stop doing the things that make me feel bad. So I need to stop slacking on workouts and food and starting to look after my home and family. I need to make the hours of 5.30pm to 8.15am about Me and My Family (not about work) and make the hours of 8.15am to 5.30pm as effictive and efficient as I can.
My plan for this week:
Food = Eat 1500 cals per weekday and usual macros (40%carb, 30%pro, 30%fat). Eat 1800 cals Sat & Sun (same macros)
2 x cheat meals allowed over the week.
Alchohol = Reduce intake by having spritzers not full glasses ) 2 x 100 cals for each)
Water = Drink some of the bloody stuff!!!
Workout Plan:
Sat - Golf
Sun - Back & Biceps (am) / Golf (pm)
Mon - Legs (am) / Treadmill (pm)
Tue - Chest/ Shoulders/Tri's (am) / X Trainer (pm)
Wed - Back & Biceps (am) / Treadmill (pm)
Thu - Legs (am) / Stair mill (pm)
Fri - Chest/Shoulders/Tri's (am)
Sat - Treadmill (am)
Stop feeling bad:
Do as flylady does and start a morning & evening routine that works...
Pay off small chunks of the housework loan!
Anti-procrastination mission:
Do not put anything off (especially living) for tomorrow... live your life today!!
Do as Nike says..
'Just Do It'
Tuesday, 25 October 2011
DAY 2 & 3 - First steps
So I have a plan for food and for exercise this week. Sunday was the first day following that plan and it didn't go totally as it should have. I found sunday a tough one...I woke with a dodgy tummy at 5am, couldn't get back to sleep and the day continued in that way... I wasn't up for golf so I missed out on burning those calories today, but I kept track of my food and didn't blow it out of the water as I would usually do on a day like today I stayed within my planned calories and all in all it wasn't too bad
Monday ....back at work and back to the routine. It is tough because not only am I trying to work out my bad habits and overcome them I am also trying to get organised at home so that I make each day as easy as I can for myself and I guess today I had to try and put some of the new things into practise....and then I slept through my alarm! I still made it to the gym, but I didn't manage to get ahead on some of the 'at home' stuff that I wanted to do.
So anyway 45mins cardio, dentists, then work ... it was a tough day and my will power for my prawn stir fry had all but disappeared by the time I arrived home so I caved and had fries, peas and meatballs.... hmm caving for the last meal of the day seems to be a pattern...!
So I am finding these first days tough...I haven't been on a plan for such a long time and I am used to just eating what I fancy when I fancy it, well thats' what has taken me up another 7lb recently so I need to get that habit to disappear!!
Bad Habits I will defeat....
Procrastination
Eat what I want when I want
I am sure the list will grow!!
3 x 'pat on the back' for the last couple of days:
1, 45 mins cardio
2, 75% clean and to plan
3, Started to get 'organised' at home.... (I have never been a domestic goddess!!)
3 x 'could do betters'
1, It'd be a good idea to drink water!!!!
2, Prep food!
3, Follow plan all day!!!
It's tough - but I will beat these bad habits to become the fitness goddess that I will be!!
Monday ....back at work and back to the routine. It is tough because not only am I trying to work out my bad habits and overcome them I am also trying to get organised at home so that I make each day as easy as I can for myself and I guess today I had to try and put some of the new things into practise....and then I slept through my alarm! I still made it to the gym, but I didn't manage to get ahead on some of the 'at home' stuff that I wanted to do.
So anyway 45mins cardio, dentists, then work ... it was a tough day and my will power for my prawn stir fry had all but disappeared by the time I arrived home so I caved and had fries, peas and meatballs.... hmm caving for the last meal of the day seems to be a pattern...!
So I am finding these first days tough...I haven't been on a plan for such a long time and I am used to just eating what I fancy when I fancy it, well thats' what has taken me up another 7lb recently so I need to get that habit to disappear!!
Bad Habits I will defeat....
Procrastination
Eat what I want when I want
I am sure the list will grow!!
3 x 'pat on the back' for the last couple of days:
1, 45 mins cardio
2, 75% clean and to plan
3, Started to get 'organised' at home.... (I have never been a domestic goddess!!)
3 x 'could do betters'
1, It'd be a good idea to drink water!!!!
2, Prep food!
3, Follow plan all day!!!
It's tough - but I will beat these bad habits to become the fitness goddess that I will be!!
Saturday, 22 October 2011
DAY 1 - REALISATION
A new blog, but not such a new dream.
It's a dream I have had for about 8 years... to step up on stage and show the body that I have created, a body that shows I have a strength of character to get through 12 weeks of total dedication and discipline, a body that proves to me that I can achieve something when I set my mind to it.
I have watched the world move on in those 8 years, but I seem to have stood still.... always going for the same goal, always moaning about the same muffin top etc, etc....Other people I know have had goals and achieved them and more in those 8 years.... My world isn't standing still anymore!
I have just turned 35 years old and it feels like a bit of a milestone and hitting this goal is my gift to me for this year!
I have made a plan that takes me all the way til March when I am next due to go on vacation. My first 'big' goal is to reach 65kgs by Xmas! There are little baby step goals along my journey and I will talk about them more as I move up the ladder towards my target.
Only one thing keeps stopping me from doing this successfully and that is Me!
I am not frightened to work hard, but I do have a lot of bad habits to overcome.. procrastination has got to be the biggest one that I need to overcome. This particular habit has held me back for a long time.... NO MORE!!
I know it will be tough, I know I have some serious battles to overcome, but I know that I will make it. I just need to start taking the right steps.
Wish me luck because this time I will succeed!
It's a dream I have had for about 8 years... to step up on stage and show the body that I have created, a body that shows I have a strength of character to get through 12 weeks of total dedication and discipline, a body that proves to me that I can achieve something when I set my mind to it.
I have watched the world move on in those 8 years, but I seem to have stood still.... always going for the same goal, always moaning about the same muffin top etc, etc....Other people I know have had goals and achieved them and more in those 8 years.... My world isn't standing still anymore!
I have just turned 35 years old and it feels like a bit of a milestone and hitting this goal is my gift to me for this year!
I have made a plan that takes me all the way til March when I am next due to go on vacation. My first 'big' goal is to reach 65kgs by Xmas! There are little baby step goals along my journey and I will talk about them more as I move up the ladder towards my target.
Only one thing keeps stopping me from doing this successfully and that is Me!
I am not frightened to work hard, but I do have a lot of bad habits to overcome.. procrastination has got to be the biggest one that I need to overcome. This particular habit has held me back for a long time.... NO MORE!!
I know it will be tough, I know I have some serious battles to overcome, but I know that I will make it. I just need to start taking the right steps.
Wish me luck because this time I will succeed!
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